11 Years Sober: Focus Is My New Buzz

October 5th, 2014.
The day I stopped “taking the edge off.”
Turns out, the edge is exactly where life gets interesting.

Eleven years later, I can say this with absolute clarity:
I didn’t quit drinking because I had a drinking problem.
I quit because I had a focus problem.

For years, I was the guy who could handle it.
Never missed work — well, aside from that one time. And that one time was a very big (and very costly) deal.

I could say I never embarrassed myself — at parties, at industry events — but that would be a lie.
A few lies, a few big ones.

I could say 'I’m a machine on the dancefloor'.
That one’s a lie too.

Alcohol lies to us.
And we lie to ourselves about alcohol.

People ask if I miss it.

Of course I do. I danced. I acted a fool. I laughed. I had fun.
I won.
What’s not to miss?

But here’s what I was really missing:
It was all an illusion.

An illusion of balance.
The idea that if I worked hard, I’d earned the right to drink hard. And then get up and do it all again.
Work hard. Play hard. Be a ‘hard man.’

Ya no.
Truth is, the real reward was always in the work itself.

The buzz I chased came from doing hard things — and sabotaging myself just enough to make them harder.
All with that easy pour.

Lesson One: Focus Is a Muscle

Once the fog lifts, you realize how much energy goes into maintaining “moderation.”

Moderation is micromanagement. And micromanagement kills momentum.

In business.
In life.

Me? I’d rather invest that energy into building things that matter.
Like a reputation for being a quality human —
Not a “quality drinker.”

I’ve said before: Discipline is the silver bullet.
Eleven years in, I’d upgrade that —
Discipline is the bloodstream.
It carries oxygen to every other part of your life.

Focus, discipline, presence — call it what you want.
It’s not about restriction.
It’s about freedom.

Freedom from distraction.
Freedom from the slow-drip self-loathing that comes from saying “I’ll stop at two” —
… and knowing damn well two means ten.
And maybe another ten after that.

Lesson Two: Identity Shifts Quietly

At some point, “I don’t drink” stopped being a flex of willpower.
It became a fact of identity.

Just like rising early. Writing daily.
Calling clients back faster than they expect.
It’s part of the package now.

That’s the shift —
When the thing that used to require effort just becomes who you are.

You don’t try to quit drinking.
You just aren’t a drinker.

That shift echoes.
One distraction gone? You start spotting the rest of the things that need to go.
Negative thoughts.
Bad Habits.
People.

Sobriety wasn’t the goal.
It was the first domino.
The first clean decision in a long line of sharper ones.

Lesson Three: Edges Are Where Growth Lives

The ‘edge’ I used to numb with vodka and Kahlúa (yes, my mix was another alcohol) —
That edge is now my new home.

That space where you’re just uncomfortable enough, hungry enough, unsatisfied enough —
That’s where it all grows.

The books.
The business.
The mental and physical fitness.
The conversations — ones you actually remember now!

Numb that edge and you delay your growth.
Stay present, you evolve.

Lesson Four: Focus Is a Superpower Nobody Trains

We live in a world addicted to distraction — digital, chemical, emotional.

But the real flex is saying no.
No to the scroll.
No to the pour.
No to the bullshit.

Saying no isn’t deprivation. It’s direction.

I’m not celebrating the absence of alcohol.
I’m celebrating the presence of focus.

Because the goal was never “not to drink.”
The goal was to wake up clear, sharp, and dangerous.
Every. Single. Day.

So here’s to 11 years without the pour —
And 11 years of showing up sharper than I used to.

If you’re thinking about quitting, start with 30 days.
Just don’t kid yourself — 30 days isn’t a “challenge.”
That’s a bullshit story the sobreity-tourists tell themselves.

Go another 60 days on top, and on day 90 decide to round it up to a full year.

The first year is the real work.
And the reward?

You stop chasing the illusion of balance —
And start living with purpose.

What do you want out of tomorrow?

Go get it!

DW

P.S. I'm still capable of being an asshole from time to time, the upside today is that I mostly catch myself quick, stop, and apologize. Mostly.